It may seem like an ill-placed intention to go out of my way to relax and find solace in Brooklyn for a mere 24 hours. But when it's done the right way, with no stressed goals of places to go and people to see, it leaves time wide open and free for wherever that sly north wind blows this unbound soul...
Here's my advice...
Being single after a serious long-term relationship is like slowly peeling off your winter coat. You've pulled it snugly around your frame for months (years, really), hugging it tightly as a daily reminder of protection and security; clutching it vigorously during the worst of storms; shedding it gently in heated homes as you're greeted with warm tea only to return it to your shoulders a few hours later just as secure and comforted as before.
Then softly, subtly, the scent in the air changes and the weather with it. You slowly roll up your sleeves and unnerved, begin to slink shoulders out into the unforgiving light. Read more
Our nature is to learn, grow, expand. To search endlessly for people, experiences, things that help us achieve that growth. Our subconscious natures lead us to these moments of potential growth for the very purpose of peeling back layers, chiseling at the hard marble-like exterior of our identities, erasing the lines we've drawn around ourselves, exposing our very centers. From this naked space, we learn, grow, expand.
I let the excess fall away from my form and blank space fill up the pages. I like the opportunity it provides. The freeing notion that despite the lines I make and the curves I etch, gentle gnawings of growth will always return the pages to their natural, naked state.
Opening the heart. This old cell of a chest cavity.
It's not a breaking or shattering but an invigorating cracking.
Breathing into the spaces that used to hurt, ache with heaviness & unwanted space.
Sipping more air, expanding with breath, sighing, sinking, digging deeper.
Opening doorways. Creating more spaces.
Cracking open with purpose, intention.
Making space for new, fresh growth.
It's a speckled kind of warmth, this growing process.
Like sunshined flowers beaming from my pores.
She was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world.
- Kate Chopin, The Awakening
I remember that feeling well. Securing the heavy cloth of "normalcy" on my shoulders as I left for my administrative job, a drooping heaviness, slowly gathering weight throughout the day. My heart ached with strained discontentment. I felt like a fraud. A failure. Incapable of fulfilling ideals of where and who I should be, ought to be, by age 25.
I had forgotten what I loved and craved, the hobbies and passions I possessed. I forgot how to flow with life, with my nature, with my strengths. Read more
This life of mine has not
been a series of happenings buoyant with balance and ease. I have come to realize that I'm not really accustomed to balance.
I wonder: maybe my nature craves the topsy-turvy messes I create, maybe I love the sloppy and haphazard way of things, maybe it keeps them free.
There's a reason why there are so many cultural and religious mythologies surrounding the coming of the full moon. Not only is Luna magnificent to witness in her bright, swelling mass, but she possesses power over the water of the earth. Her magnetic gravity pulls world's oceans and waters toward her, altering the tides. In her power over the water, she holds a certain grasp on humans as well, as we are approximately 65% water. This magnetic pull influences many people, from emotional issues to personal perspectives, to emergency room influxes and feminine cycles harmonizing with the lunar cycle.